The Beauty of Grace through Trials

A truth that has offered much strength and hope to me over the years is one that comes out of 2 Corinthians 12. The well known verse that I have held close to my heart through many struggles is verse 9: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." There is such great truth in these words; God's great and immeasurable grace is more than sufficient for us, and we can see God's power more clearly when we are weak and have to lean entirely on His strength. For a period of time I used to think of this passage as a message addressing my tendency towards feelings of fear and inadequacy, reminding me that God is big enough and that He displays His power through our weaknesses so it can be seen by others. It is indeed true that God desires to use us to show His power through our weaknesses, however it has not been until this last year that I have seen so clearly the beauty of this grace that He allows us to see His strength through the middle of our trials and areas of weakness! It had been a topic that I was a little fearful of because I struggled with my fear of experiencing trials and painful situations to show Christ's power to others. It was a wonder to me how Paul could truly say that he "delighted in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties." Those are not things that I generally delight in, and I think I know a few other comfort-seeking humans who feel the same way!
But as I have faced trials in my own life, and shared in the sufferings of loved ones, I've come to see grace so much clearer, and I've come to know Jesus is a more intimate and wonderful way! There is not one painful trial that I have encountered that I would erase from my past, because as I reflect on my own trials, I can see how each one revealed a different aspect of God's character to me, and always reminded me of my real need for a savior. The source of pain and suffering in this world is sin, not always our own, but because we as humans have separated ourselves from God through sin. I think that often we don't understand the depth of our need for a savior. We often feel that we appreciate God's grace because we sometimes say or think things that we shouldn't, but when we are confronted with our own real sin, even just the realization of the real possibility of sin in our lives, we get the wonderful blessing of experiencing the magnitude of God's grace in our lives! Its so beautiful to see how great the love and how sweet the grace of Jesus Christ truly is! That is why Paul, and now myself, delight in all the more hardships, and weaknesses! Paul ends the chapter saying, "for when I am weak, then I am strong." Paul grasped the magnitude of His need for Jesus, recognizing that when he was not trying to depend on his own strength, (which is prideful sin), He was all the more empowered by Christ and could see God more clearly and understand His character and grace so much more.
As I've been reflecting on lessons learned over the past year, I found this one to be confirmed over and over through many different situations and individuals in my life. As I prepare to follow the leading of Christ into the middle of Africa, I have been reminded by many individuals of the dangers and risks of this location. The evil one reminds me of my own inadequacies, and my sinful spirit begins to worry at times. But here, in the face of fear, and by the power of the Holy Spirit who has the wonderful grace to choose to lead my heart, I choose to say that I will "boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me....For when I am weak, then I am strong."